McDonald's seems to be having a bit of an identity crisis. On one hand, they're phasing out
scary as fuck kid-friendly mascot Ronald McDonald in favor of ads appealing to older, latte-swilling customers. On the other, they've plastered their logo all over a kiddie drive-thru toy with a fryer that makes real sizzling oil sounds, and it's pissing off British parents.
When did McDonald's get so complex, so concerned with demographics? It used to be all about the kids. With the furor over a toy drive-thru, are the days of kids pretending to be burger flippers and nugget fryers slipping away?
How can we forget all of these special childhood moments, brought to us by McDonald's toys and commercials blatantly aimed at the demographic most likely to be terrified by a devil-clown into eating fried meat paste?
But what about Ronald?
|You do know he helped those McNuggets solve their mystery and now he's going to eat them, right?|
|Where Ronald raises the hogs for McRibs. And Birdy? Well, do you really want to know where Chicken Selects come from?|
|Mom told me to never talk to roller-skating assholes giving away empty calories.|
On second thought, maybe it's time for Ronald to go.