Thanksgiving Dinner for Two? Five Alternatives to Turkey

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Turkey for two is too much turkey. - IMAGE VIA
  • Image via
  • Turkey for two is too much turkey.
Thanksgiving. Dad trying to carve the turkey while keeping an eye on the football game. Mom self-medicating by dosing the gravy with gin. Uncle Stu showing a little too keen an interest in what a fine young woman little Sally is turning into. And your dealer has taken the holiday off.

Yeah, sometimes it's better -- or made compulsory by various restraining orders -- to skip the family reunion and have a quiet Thanksgiving dinner with that special someone in your life.

Of course, even a smallish turkey will be too much food for two people, so unless tradition is that important to you (or you love leftover turkey sandwiches that much), consider one of these very sensible alternatives.

A roasted chicken. Shrink picture by about 80% for roasted cornish game hen. - STEVE ADAMS
  • Steve Adams
  • A roasted chicken. Shrink picture by about 80% for roasted cornish game hen.
Roasted Chicken

Provides the advantages of turkey -- crisp, brown skin to admire as it's set at the center of the table; you can carve it all fancy-like -- with the added bonus of not tasting like turkey. Plus, if you set it on the table and then stand on the other side of the room and squint, you can pretend for a moment that it is, in fact, a turkey.

Roasted Cornish Game Hens

Provides the advantages of turkey and chicken -- crisp, brown skin to admire as it's set at the center of the table; you can carve it all fancy-like, albeit with a Swiss Army knife -- with the added bonus of being able to fit a whole bird onto each hand and use them as puppets to reenact the first Thanksgiving.

A rib-eye steak, the true American meal. - IMAGE VIA
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  • A rib-eye steak, the true American meal.
A Really F---ing Expensive Steak

Benjamin Franklin thought the turkey should be the national symbol, but we're unashamedly a nation of beef eaters, so why not celebrate by indulging in a big, beautifully marbled rib eye (or whichever cut you prefer) (unless it's filet mignon because then you're just getting ripped off). If you don't mind the cold, go ahead and grill it outside. If you stay inside, remember: sear on a very, very hot pan, finish in the oven and let it rest.

Pork Roast

Simple, elegant, with the added bonus of being pork. Seriously, though, because a pork roast doesn't have to be well done, you don't have to spend the afternoon anxious that dinner will be overcooked instead of anxious that the Cowboys won't cover relazed in the arms of your love.

Tacos. 'Nuff said. - IMAGE VIA
Tacos

Granted, platters tacos and their assorted fixings might not fit your aesthetic ideal of the Thanksgiving table, but your holiday dinner should leave you full and, crucially, happy. And who doesn't love tacos? I'll tell you who doesn't love tacos -- all of my so called friends and family who have stopped inviting me to Thanksgiving dinner because instead of the yams or pumpkin pie or traditional BS they asked me to bring, I suprised them with the finest carne asada and carnitas tacos this side of the Rio Grande. Happy Thanksgiving, you ungrateful jerks.

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