Today in free advertising: It's the self-proclaimed* "World's Largest Gummy Worm" from a company called Vat19. The worm weighs three pounds and boasts 4,000 calories -- though, as you might expect, those calories are spread across 34 servings.
Here's a promo video, which shows all the amazing things you can do with a three-pound gummy worm (though one NSFW!!! possibility is omitted) and makes the expected jokes about the size of a certain part of the male anatomy and how women will react to something that big.**
The worm costs $27.95 and comes in five different dual-flavor combinations, though all five are currently out of stock. Will Gut Check be ordering one for product testing? Oh, yes. There will be gummy worm.
* - That is, proclaimed by the company, not by the worm itself, which presumably can't proclaim anything.
** - To its credit, the gummy worm does appear to be ribbed for her pleasure.