Eater reports that celebrity chef* Bobby Flay has trademarked the words** "Crunchburger" and "crunchify."
Fine. Whatever. I certainly have nothing against intellectual property rights, even if the trademark sounds like something even Taco Bell would consider too ridiculous to sell.
But then I read that these terms apply to the practice of putting potato chips on top of a burger.
Seriously, Bobby Flay? You think aping something that red-blooded, flag-waving, Mom-loving American kids have done to their PB&Js, burgers and hot dogs since time immemorial deserves a trademark?
Buddy, you're just lucky that Gut Check wakes up in a cold sweat every night reciting libel and fair-use statues, otherwise we'd already have a category entitled Crunchify This in which we rate how a potato-chip topping does or doesn't improve certain foods.***
* - celebrity "chef"? "celebrity" chef?
** - "words"?
*** - We won't. Promise. Please don't sue.