Allow me to help alleviate this dull, brutally hot day by sharing a story from my beloved hometown of Baltimore.
The Baltimore Sun
relates the adventures of one Andrew Palmer
, age 43, who decided that the conventional dine-and-dash scam was too, well, conventional.
Prosecutors say Palmer dined at restaurants including Capital Grille,
Burke's Cafe, Ding How Restaurant, Maisy's Restaurant, and Borinken Bar
and Restaurant between April 26 and July 21. In each case, he feigned a
seizure requiring the presence of medical personnel.
According to the Sun, Palmer's rap sheet pre dine-and-seizure counted a whopping 89 charges and 34 convictions.
However, the article doesn't reveal how the cops caught on to the alleged scam. I'm guessing it's when a good Samaritan tried to wedge a spoon into Palmer's mouth, and he requested it first be heaped with Beluga caviar.
: (Thursday, 8.12, 8:45 a.m.) The Sun
has published a longer article about seizure-faking restaurant-scammer Andrew Palmer
. Turns out no one was fooled by the act. Problem was, he'd fake the seizure, go to the hospital, get arrested and (usually) be convicted and sentenced to 90 days jail...only to do it all over again. The new charges are meant to keep up a little longer.