Ice Cream Meals: What to Eat When It's Too Hot to Eat

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When you can do this on the sidewalk, it's time for ice cream meals.
  • When you can do this on the sidewalk, it's time for ice cream meals.
It's hot. Too fucking hot to eat.

But you've gotta eat. Malnutrition makes it harder to stave off heat exhaustion.

Of course, you can't eat nothing but ice cream.

Or can you?

Ice cream's not just about chocolate and vanilla. Oh no! With some creativity, surely it's possible to cover the food pyramid with cool, creamy treats while your face is melting off your skull....

Grains

Gelato di Riso: It's not just a local gelato joint. Nope. It's gelato with arborrio rice in it. Sort of a frozen rice pudding. It's not a whole grain, but it's a start.

SPICE OF LIFE
  • Spice of Life

Ice Cream Loaf: Ice cream's going to melt in about five seconds anyway. Might as well make bread with it, the Jolene Sugarbaker way. Plus, you'll get some fruit, and it'll probably make excellent fried Spam sandwiches for a sweet n' spicy treat.



Granted, that's not really bread. It's cake. And silly, because who wants to turn on the damn oven? You need some whole grains and no extra heat, so how about classic Irish brown bread ice cream with an Estonian twist -- caramelized rye bread ice cream!

Caramelized Onion Rye Bread Ice Cream - NAMI-NAMI
  • nami-nami
  • Caramelized Onion Rye Bread Ice Cream

Vegetables

Tomato: It's technically a fruit, but a savory one. Making ice cream with tomato preserves and caramel sauce makes it lose most of its veggie cred. But it still has fiber and vitamins, and you can't take that away from a veggie.
Tomatoes, with sugar and caramel. - NEW YORK TIMES
  • New York Times
  • Tomatoes, with sugar and caramel.

Perhaps beets would be a bit more health-conscious. Probably not. Even if it's double beetroot. All of the summer-friendly flavor of earthy, rootsy beets with the stroke-inducing properties of a quart of Ben & Jerry's. Eat this today!

Double the beetroot, double the fun. - ICE CREAM PARK
  • Ice Cream Park
  • Double the beetroot, double the fun.


Fruit

Please. Go get some strawberry and call it good.

Meat and Beans

Fish and Chips: Surely the flavor of merry olde England will bring thoughts of cooler days to mind. Creamed cod filet ice cream, battered, with potato ice cream fries. Ah, yes. Can't you feel the breezes from the white cliffs of Dover?

The ice cream man works down at the chip shop. - SERIOUS EATS
  • Serious Eats
  • The ice cream man works down at the chip shop.

Azuki: Now this is a good idea. Azuki -- the red beans used in yummy dim sum dessert buns -- would make an excellent ice cream treat. Finally, something that makes nutritional sense in this nonsensical heat.

Azuki = smart ice cream - CLOSET COOKING
  • Closet Cooking
  • Azuki = smart ice cream

Horse Stop it. You've gone delirious from the heat. Mr. Ed says no ice cream for you.

Nooooooo, Wilbur! - SURREAL, SQUIRRELS, AND ESPRESSO
  • Surreal, Squirrels, and Espresso
  • Nooooooo, Wilbur!

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