As a dining option, pizza is always a good idea. But as a Valentine's Day gift, a heart-shaped pizza can be interpreted two ways and two ways only: 1) as a mozzarella-covered caloric bomb that ultimately is a cute, thoughtful gesture, or, 2) as a pathetic, last-minute gift that turns an already in shambles relationship from bad to comically bad ("I'm sorry I showed up drunk to your parents' on Thanksgiving, here's a pizza").
Of course, if you're single, it's an awesome way to get fat by yourself on the couch while watching the first season of Heroes on DVD.
Cue the heart-shaped pie offered by Pizzarelli's Pizza in Ellisville (and likely by dozens of other pizza purveyors across the nation this coming weekend).
Wanting to know whether Pizzarelli's was considering zigzag cuts (broken heart? get it?) or other more insouciant variations, we peppered Brian Behrens, one of the owners, with questions.
His responses, and a photo of a heart-shaped pie, after the jump.
Covered in a half-pound of mozzarella, this pizza will keep you planted on the couch with your loved one. Or by yourself, safely insulated from singles bars and match.com.
Heart-shaped pizzas would seem the de facto fast food for Valentine's Day, but what about shapes for the more romantically adventuresome? Like boobs, perhaps? You could call them Twin Peakzzas! Seems great minds think alike; Behrens says discussion of boobs, penises and the like, uh, arises among his pizza makers, during slow times. "They come up with certain ideas," the pizza man confirms "The minds of 23-year-olds..."
This is the first year that Pizzarelli's, which changed ownership a few years back, has offered the promotion. The pies are prepared in Large size (fourteen inches) only, and are priced at $12.99 (or two for $20.99.)
Behrens doesn't have plans to make a zigag cut in the pie, but he might comply if you ask.
He's pitching the hearts at women who may want to buy it for their spouse or significant other. Because Valentine's Day falls on a Sunday this year, he expects the gimmick to give business a boost.
"Saturday is romantic-dinner night, but Sunday -- with the wife and kids, on the couch -- that might help us," he says. "We'll be prepared for a typical good Sunday." Behrens hopes to sell at least 20 heart-shaped pies, but he's prepared to toss up 200 of them.
Oh, and Nirvana fans take note: The pizzas do not come in heart-shaped boxes.