The Ten Best Bar Names in St. Louis

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This sign hangs at more than one St. Louis bar
  • This sign hangs at more than one St. Louis bar
After reading this week's feature story on smoking ban loopholes, the thought may have crossed your mind that someone at RFT headquarters must have spent a whole lot of time recently studying up on St. Louis' drinking establishments.

Indeed. In order to compile a list of all the places in the city and county that will likely be exempt from the smoking bans that take effect next year, we had to look over documents that contained the names of every single bar, tavern, lounge and club licensed to pour liquor in the city and county. That's more than 1,600 watering holes in the two areas combined.

The experience was not an unpleasant one. Here are ten establishments with monikers that either left us laughing out loud, scratching our heads, or thirsty for a nice stiff drink.

Honorable Mention: The Office(s) (9620 St. Charles Rock Rd) and (4532 Virginia Ave), McDonald's (12523 Missouri Bottom Road), World Famous Cactus Inn (10570 Page Avenue) and The Bleeding Deacon (4123 Chippewa Street)

10.
Playboy Cappuccino Lounge (8500 N Broadway)
When Hef wants an espresso and some hot wings he heads to the Baden neighborhood.

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9. Bar Salon Ahh (6300 Natural Bridge Road)
Barcelona is a world-class city filled with amazing art, food, architecture and people. Pine Lawn's Bar Salon Ahh is probably just filled with amazing people who like phonetic spellings and cheap booze. Bonus points for one-upping Clayton's BARcelona in the pun department.

8.
(Tie) Double D Lounge (2219 South Brentwood Boulevard) and Double D's Den (5204 Hampton Avenue)
Perhaps the most well-known bars to make the list, they both serve beer in huge cups.

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7. R.P. McMurphy's (1401 Salisbury Street)
R.P. McMurphy is a salt of the Earth kind of guy. He's been around, drank his share of booze and been in more bar fights that Patrick Swayze's character in Roadhouse. No, we've never met the owner of this fine establishment, but we have read One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and seen the movie in which Jack Nicholson starred as the protagonist, one Randall P. McMurphy.

6. Mary's Blue Ribbon Lounge (1100 Dammert Avenue)
Selected as America's Best in 1893.

5. Smugglers Inn  (1757 Woodson Road)
This is either a set-up for police entrapment or the place Han Solo stopped in for a drink on his way to making the Kessel Run.

4. The Drinking Horn
(2317 McKelvey Road)
On one hand, it could mean they serve their drinks in trumpets, trombones and tubas. On the other, it could mean it's frequented by mead-swilling vikings. Either way it rocks.

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3. Gorgeous Gent's Social Club (2707 North Taylor Avenue)
Is the owner a gorgeous gentleman or is that just a requirement for the customers? Doubles as the best band name on the list.

2. Valerie's Sit & Sip Lounge (3701 Sullivan Avenue)
Now we're getting serious. This is a classic neighborhood bar name. It is understated yet clever. Casual but colorful. It says: expect no chugging here, no dancing -- only friendly conversation and casual drinking.

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1. Beulah's Red Velvet Lounge (4769 Dr. Martin Luther King Drive)
Say it aloud: Beulah's Red Velvet Lounge. It just rolls off the tongue like a sip of fine scotch. Or rail whiskey. Whatever your preference.

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