Reporter Eats Five Denny's Grand Slam Breakfasts, Lives

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IAN FROEB
  • Ian Froeb
Here at Gut Check International Headquarters, we just can't get enough of the hoopla surrounding the free Grand Slam breakfast offer at Denny's. Even today, two days after the fact, we find ourselves thinking about it, dreaming about it, wondering if -- no, when -- it will happen again.

But we clearly aren't as obsessed as Chicago Tribune reporter Kevin Pang, who ate five free Grand Slams on Tuesday and lived to tell his tale, via Obscure Store:
Within seven minutes of sitting down, Slam No. 1 arrives.

 I think of the many firsts in my life. This ranks up there. The syrup mingling with the sunflower yellow yolks on the plate, a dance of sweet and savory, emulsified into a singular taste sensation. I slosh the sausage through the yolky-syrupy mix. The bacon is crisp and oily. The pancakes are buttery and ethereal. I take a sip of grapefruit juice and sigh.
He claims to have consumed 4,100 calories when all was said and done -- though he admits that he didn't finish everything. Still, that's quite a caloric intake, equivalent to 1.57 Baskin Robbins Chocolate Oreo Shakes.

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