Burrito? Valentine? Done and Done!


Want a hot guy with your free burrito? Get in line.
  • Want a hot guy with your free burrito? Get in line.
It may have escaped your notice amid all the excitement over the Lincoln and Darwin Bicentennials, but Valentine's Day is nigh. (Or, as we like to call it here at Gut Check, Amateur Night.) But what if you don't have a valentine yet?

Don't despair, ladies! The website BettyConfidential.com reports that the best place to meet hot guys is at Chipotle:
The Bettys discovered that, come lunchtime, the popular chain Chipotle is overflowing with an inordinate number of very attractive men. From those with closely cropped hair in crisp business shirts of white and blue, to the sweaty, tan, muscled, t-shirt-clad crews of college guys, it's not just the food heating up the place!
Upon hearing the good news, Chipotle spokesman Chris Arnold told U.S. News & World Report:
"What a great way to kill two birds with one stone. Have lunch and meet hot guys at the same time. Our core customers are young, active, and sophisticated. While I never really thought of our restaurants as the go-to place to meet hot guys (or girls), given the nature of our customers, I'm not surprised that someone has connected those dots."
(According to U.S. News, Chipotle's share values have not been affected by the Bettys' startling revelations.)

But in some daring, on-the-scene reporting in several suburban locations, the Bettys discovered that guys have their own secret strategies: "Chipotle's more of a guy's restaurant. If we're looking for girls, we'd go to Noodles, or maybe Panera!" (This speciman is clearly not a St. Louisan.)

OK, fair enough. But, of course, it's one thing to look. It's another, very different thing to get a date. I, personally, have never been very good at this part, but the Bettys have come up with the ideal solution: Whole Foods.
It doesn't take a half a brain to figure out that a guy who shops at WHOLE FOODS is probably pretty healthy (Translation: No couch potatoes, beer drinking, football watching, thinking he's got it going on here), is conscientious about something (Translation: The environment, animals, human rights, his mother) and likes to do the active things in life (Translation: Kayaking, hiking, international travel).
Or he could just be, you know, a pretentious tool. But what do I know? To encourage their readers, the Bettys share inspiring tales of women who found true love at Whole Foods. And they offer tips about how to get the guy to notice you: "Worst case-scenario ... ram your cart into his - DISCREETLY!" (How to ram a cart discreetly remains a mystery.)

But I think if you really want to go that route, the best guidance comes from that scene in Animal House where Otter and Mrs. Dean Wormer discuss the sensual power of vegetables. Haven't you heard? Vegetables are hot!

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