A new feature in which Gut Check attempts to find an effective energy drink...that doesn't taste like ass.
Name: Steaz Energy (Lime)
Size: 12 oz.
Boast: "...the world's first functional energy drink with respect for the community and the environment." Certified USDA organic, fair trade and vegan.
The stats and the effects after the jump...
Caffeine: 80 mg -- though the can doesn't make clear whether that's per 8 oz. serving or for the whole 12 oz. can.
Other Key Ingredients: Green tea, acai juice, guarana extract, yerba mate extract
Appearance: A pale gold like straw or ginger ale, lightly effervescent.
Aroma: A blend of green tea and cough medicine. No lime at all.
Flavor: Ginger snaps, toast, honey-flavored Ricola cough drops. Moderately ass-like.
Immediate Reaction: Not much. But I've already had, like, 30 oz. of coffee by this point.
30 Minutes Later: Jimmy leg, slightly dazed. Working quickly.
1 Hour Later: Heart racing. Easily distracted. Working even more quickly.
90 Minutes Later: Heartbeat slightly calmer.
8 Hours (and Several Alcoholic Drinks) Later: Throwing together dinner from farmers' market ingredients. Slamming. Cooking, getting dishes in dishwasher, plating. Whoooooo.
Overall: I wouldn't want to drink this again, but I got a lot done.
Support Local Journalism.
Join the Riverfront Times Press Club
Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state. Our readers helped us continue this coverage in 2020, and we are so grateful for the support.
Help us keep this coverage going in 2021. Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing membership pledge, your support goes to local-based reporting from our small but mighty team.
Join the Riverfront Times Club for as little as $5 a month.