Everything is Terrible Tomorrow Night at Antarctica

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Unreal has, we must admit, kind of a soft spot for Elvis movies. We like to revel in their badness. But Everything is Terrible is in a whole 'nother league. As students at Ohio University, this group of friends got in the habit of watching bad video. Really, really bad video. Like, ten times worse than Elvis movies video.

When graduation scattered them across the country, they started a blog so they could continue to share their most prized crap with one another. (Motto: "If everything is terrible, then nothing is.") Things snowballed, as they do, but instead of writing a book, the group created a movie and a stage show, which they are bringing to Antarctica (5226 Gravois Avenue) tomorrow night.

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This morning, Unreal called up Commander Gilgamesh, one of the group's original members, currently based in Chicago, to find out more.

Unreal: So what can we poor, unsuspecting St. Louisans expect tomorrow night?

Commander Gilgamesh: We don't even know until we do it, but I can promise surprises, special guests, surprises and giant aliens with long arms and furry heads. And we definitely have the movie. That never falls apart.

What's your favorite video clip?

Right now, it's Jingle Cats. It's a Christmas special. It's a crazy, psychedelic thing. I didn't touch it. It was made for cat lovers and it's mind-meltingly amazing.

Where do you find this shit?

It's surprising. Sometimes I'll be walking down the street talking about Everything is Terrible and I'll find a stack of VHS tapes. But primarily we get them from thrift stores and from video stores that are going out of business. We look for them on Craigslist and then buy a few hundred at a time. Right now is a real boom for buying. We're collecting and watching maybe ten percent and then posting ten percent of that. There's a lot of crap falling through the cracks.

Is there anything too crappy to post?
There are some things we don't want to subject the world to. My brother Yonder Vittles likes to collect people's home videos, but I refuse to let him post them. They're the sickest, saddest things. They shouldn't have even been captured on video. It's stuff no one should see.

But you bravely sit through it.

Yeah. We're cultural martyrs. You know, we did originally like good things. Some of went to film school. But now none of us ever watch anything that's good.

EVERYTHINGISTERRIBLE.COM
  • everythingisterrible.com
What do you have planned after your sojourn through Missouri?

We're working on a Christmas DVD. We're planning to give it away for free with our regular DVD at our show at the Upright Citizens Brigade in LA.

Will it just be Christmas crap, or will there be Hanukkah and Eid and Kwanzaa crap, too?

We get a lot of guff from Christians. They say we give them too hard a time. So we're trying to give everyone a hard time.

But there's so much more Christmas kitsch!

Yeah. They make the best videos.

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